Inuyasha Jeopardy
by LinkLord
Summary: A sort of add-on to Inuyasha Truth or Dare, where I ask the questions and Inuyasha characters answer them! Everyone from my Truth or Dare fic and more can participate, so come on down! Read and review please! Updates are delayed, but I'm working on it!
1. It is not 'Fat Demons'

**I own nothing.**

* * *

(The fans scream wildly as a boy in a black short-sleeved shirt with a dragon amulet around his neck steps onto the stage)

Verakka: Helloooooo people!!

Fans: (scream wildly)

Verakka: This is a new series completely original by yours truly! I call it...

_**INUYASHA**_

_**JEOPARDY**_

Verakka: That's right! Inuyasha Jeopardy! A hilarious series where questions are asked and 99.9 percent of the time are NOT answered!

Fans: (laugh)

Verakka: And so without further ado, let's begin... (the curtains pull over, shielding him, before they reveal him sitting on a chair and three podiums. Behind the podiums are Inuyasha, Kagome and Vrael)

Verakka: Welcome to Inuyasha Jeopardy. I'm going to recommend that all readers do NOT continue for the sake of stupidity. That having been said, let us begin. Our contestants are Inuyasha...

Inuyasha: Where's my Tetsuaiga?! I can't live like this! (beats his fist on the podium) OWW! What'd you make this out of, bricks?!

Verakka: Close enough. Kagome...

Kagome: ...

Verakka: What, no classy comment?

Kagome: ...

Verakka: ?? Fantastic. And, finally, Vrael.

Vrael: How dare you put me on this stupid game show! I'll make you regret this!!

Verakka: I'm sure. Now let's take a look at the board. The points are from 200--1000, and the categories are...

_Fatal Demonics_

_The Dark Ages_

_Blood or Gore_

_Is this a Word_

_Red Stuff_

Verakka: And, finally...

_Things that Hurt_

Verakka: Mr. Inuyasha, we'll start with you. Pick a category.

Inuyasha: Hmm...Fat Demons for 60 billion!

Verakka: That...

Fans: (laughing)

Verakka: That is _Fatal Demonics_, not Fat Demons.

Fans: (laughs more)

Verakka: For 200. And the question is...

_Is summoning Satan a Fatal Demonic?_

(buzz)

Verakka: Ms. Kagome.

Kagome: Who's Satan?

Fans: (laughing)

Verakka: No, that's wrong.

Kagome: F-- you!!

Fans: (laugh harder)

(buzz)

Verakka: Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: Uhh, no?

Verakka: I'm sorry, that's wrong. And since is isn't NO, there is only one option.

(silence)

(beeping)

Verakka: Time's up. The answer is YES, for the love of god!

Vrael: Oh, go to h--.

Fans: (laugh)

Verakka: I may have to hurt you. Vrael, it's your board.

Vrael: It sure is. I pick Hurt That Thing for 7000.

Verakka: Wait, what--?!

Fans: (laugh)

Verakka: That is not Hurt That Thing. That is Things That--never mind. _Things That Hurt_ for 300.

_Would a heated oven top hurt?_

(silence)

Verakka: Anyone?

(beeping)

Verakka: I hate you all! You can't answer a simple yes-or-no question!!

Kagome: You asked a question?

Fans: (laughing)

Verakka: Vrael, it is still your board so _I'LL _pick for you.

Vrael: Not very leniant, are you?

Verakka: I'm not even sure if you used that word properly. Let's go with _Blood or Gore_ for 200.

_Is a person's arm ripped off blood, gore or both?_

(buzz)

Verakka: Vrael.

Vrael: Why was his arm ripped off?

Fans: (laughing)

Verakka: How am I supposed to know?! He was in a war and he got injured!

Vrael: But why his arm? Why not a leg? Or his head?

Fans: (laugh harder)

Verakka: Just answer the question, somebody!

(silence)

Verakka: I will kill you all if you do not answer the question.

(beeping)

Verakka: OKAY, THAT'S F--ING IT! (kicks his chair back and leaps at them)

Voice: Freeze!

(everything onstage stops, and a girl holding a remote walks out onstage)

Eitak: We'll be right back.

* * *

**This fanfiction is brought to you by the TorturingtheScreamingInuyasha club. Join real soon!**


	2. Satan is not a rock star!

**I own nothing.**

(the curtains open to reveal Verakka in his chair with the three same people behind the podiums, Eitak comes on-stage and whispers something to Verakka before leaving sight as the audience quiets down)

Verakka: Welcome back to Inuyasha Jeopardy. Since you all are still watching, I guess that means you enjoy seeing me get angry.

Audience: (laughs)

Verakka: That having been said, let's take a look at the scores. Inuyasha has amazed us all by achieving -250 gold coins. How he achieved this is by making fun of a category and then answering the question wrong.

Inuyasha: Yes indeed, and quite frankly I think I'm going to win!

Verakka: Don't bet on it.

Audience: (laughing)

Verakka: Kagome has somehow gotten -6000 gold coins by not knowing who Satan is.

Kagome: Is he a rock star or what?

Audience: (laughs)

Verakka: Not quite. And finally. (sighs) Vrael is here with -120 gold coins.

Vrael: Only because he didn't let me pick my category! (looks real mad)

Verakka: And I'm glad I didn't. And so, let's begin. The categories are...

_Fatal Demonics_

_A Perfect End_

_Massacre_

_Your Mother_

Verakka: Wait, what?!

Vrael: (laughing)

Verakka: Okay, no. (stands up and rips the choice of 'Your Mother' off and scribbles on the back of it 'Deadly Chemicals' before setting it up backwards)

_Heaven or Hell_

Verakka: And finally,

_Poke the Person Next to You_

Verakka: (sighs) Vrael, you are in the lead so we'll start with you.

Vrael: I have to pick the Ape End.

Audience: (laughing)

Verakka: I may have to kill you!! That is _A Perfect End _and not Ape End!!

Vrael: You need glasses then, Verakka! That says Ape End!

Verakka: I HAVE glasses you idiotic --!!

Audience: (laughs harder)

Vrael: A Perfect End for 200. And the question is...

_Is the planet hurtling into the Sun a perfect end?_

(buzz)

Verakka: Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: In who's point of view? Ours or yours?

Verakka: N...

(silence)

Verakka: Actually, that's not a bad question. In your opinion, then.

Inuyasha: Yes!

Verakka: Wait, wh--...can somebody get a lie detector?!

Cameraman: Umm, Verakka?

Verakka: What do you want?!

Cameraman: ...we're still live.

Verakka: Uhh...yes, so we are. I supose that's right, so Inuyasha gains 200 points.

Inuyasha: What?! That is the total opposite of a perfect end!!

Verakka: T.T I'm going to need restraints the next time you come. Vrael, it is still your pick.

Vrael: Oh, I'll play your game. I'll go with _Deadly Chemicals_ for 300.

Verakka: Great. And the question is...

_Is snake venom deadly?_

Verakka: Please, somebody, make a sensible answer.

(silence)

Verakka: Are you people really that stupid?

(buzz)

Verakka: Kagome.

Kagome: ...what?

Audience: (laughing)

Verakka: You buzzed in! What is your answer?

Kagome: Umm...what is the question?

Verakka: I'm sorry, that is wrong.

Kagome: No, I'm asking you!

Verakka: I'm telling you, that's wrong!!

(buzz)

Verakka: ...wait, who buzzed?

(buzz)

Verakka: None of your buzzers are lighting up!!

(buzz)

Verakka: WHERE IS THAT SOUND COMING FROM?!

(beeping)

(buzz)

Verakka: Time is up and--who is buzzing?!

(buzz)

Verakka: (eye twitches) Let's just go to the final question. And the category is...

_Don't do anything_

Verakka: Don't press your buzzer, don't do anything. Just stand still and you all win.

(buzz)

Verakka: Kagome, you just lost.

Kagome: (stands absolutely still)

Verakka: Well at least the two othe--

(buzz)

Verakka: W--...why did you press your buzzer?!

Inuyasha: Where's my Tetsuaiga?!

Verakka: I'm going to kill you if you don't stop talking! At least Vrael--

(buzz)

Verakka: WHY DID YOU **DO** THAT?!

Vrael: Because I hate you, Durza.

Audience: (laughing)

Verakka: (sigh) My therapist is gonna be rich this month. (stalks offstage and the curtains pull shut)

**This fanfiction is brought to you by the TorturingtheScreamingInuyasha club. Join real soon!**


	3. That's what she said

**I own nothing.**

(the audience cheers once more as the curtains pull open, revealing Vrael, Naraku and Sesshomaru behind the podiums but Verakka nowhere in sight)

(silence)

Fan: Where is he?!

(Eitak walks onstage)

Eitak: Umm, Verakka...somehow...fell off of a building and can't make it at the moment.

Vrael: (snickers) Yeah, he _**fell**_.

Eitak: You pushed him off, didn't you?

Vrael: Yep. :D

Eitak: I can't even begin to explain how wrong that is.

(Verakka runs onstage and glares at Vrael)

Verakka: You locked me in a CLOSET, you --tard!!

Vrael: Lookie lookie, a pottymouth. (starts laughing) Whatcha gonna do? Sing me a song and tuck me into bed?

Verakka: How about a rhyme? Roses are red, violets are blue. If you don't shut your mouth I'll seal it with glue!!

Vrael: I see...that would be unfortunate.

Verakka: Not in my opinion. (steps behind the podium) And so we...you know what? takes out a shotgun and shoots at Vrael before putting it away

Vrael: What the crap was that for?!

Verakka: You looked at me.

Audience: (laughing hard)

Verakka: And the categories are...

_Fatal Demonics_

_The Dark Ages_

_Medieval Torture_

_Faking Death_

_I hate you, Rvark_

Verakka: Wait, what--?!

Audience: (laughing)

Verakka: That is NOT a category, you freaking loser!!

Vrael: It is now, Rvark. (laughs)

Verakka: I'm going to hang you over a boiling pot of magma.

Vrael: Go to hell!

Verakka: After you.

Audience: (laughing)

Verakka: (takes the 'I hate you Rvark' category sign and breaks it in half, then puts up a new one that says 'Are you a boy or a girl?') And so, let us begin. Sesshomaru, it's your board.

Sesshomaru: I'd like to take a guess at Medieval Torture for 300.

Verakka: I can't actually believe you asked a real question.

Sesshomaru: Huh? It's in the script, you know. (holds up a piece of paper)

Verakka: Wait, wh--

Audience: (laughing)

Verakka: When did we get a script?!

Sesshomaru: When Vrael gave it to me.

Verakka: WHAT THE HELL?!

Audience: (roaring with laughter)

Verakka: Fine, Medieval Torture for 300. And the question is--

Sesshomaru: Guillotine.

Verakka: (walks over to Sesshomaru and Naraku, takes their scripts and set the papers on fire before returning to his chair) Fine. Sesshomaru, you're in the lead. Naraku, your turn.

Naraku: I don't know my line, I didn't read the script.

Verakka: TO HELL WITH THE SCRIPT! JUST PICK A CATEGORY!!

Naraku: Umm...Are you a boy or girl?

Verakka: Okay, for how much?

Naraku: No, I'm asking you.

Fans: (roar with laughter)

Verakka: ...no. Vrael, go ahead.

Vrael: Fat Demons for 90,000,000!

Fans: (laughing)

Verakka: You already used that one.

Vrael: (looks at audience and points at Verakka) That's what she said!

Audience: (screaming with laughter)

Verakka: Fatal Demonics for 900. And the question is...

_Do you want to--_

Verakka: ...

Vrael: (snickering)

Verakka: Vrael, I hate you. I really, truly do.

Vrael: (bursts out laughing) C-c'mon! L-l-let the p-people s-see my q-q-questi--(cracks up)

Verakka: I am not finishing that sentence.

Audience: (laughing)

Verakka: And we'll be right back.

* * *

**This fanfiction is brought to you by the TorturingtheScreamingInuyasha club. Join real soon!**


	4. Enough with the script!

**I own nothing.**

(the curtains pull apart to reveal Verakka sitting in his chair and Naraku, Sesshomaru and Vrael standing behind the podiums)

Verakka: Welcome back to Inuyasha Jeopardy. I would like to apologize for the constant moronic comments last time, and I can assure you that it will not happen again.

Vrael: (in a strait jacket with a muzzel on his mouth)

Audience: (cheering)

Verakka: And so, let us begin. The categories are:

_Fatal Demonics_

_The Number 5_

_Who Is This?_

_Fire_

_Bodies of Water_

Verakka: And, last but not least,

_Where Are You?_

Verakka: Now, since Naraku is in the lead with -400 gold coins, it's his board.

Naraku: But the script--

Verakka: SHUT UP AND PICK A CATEGORY!!

Audience: (laughs)

Naraku: I'll take bodies for 500.

Verakka: Huh?

Naraku: Women's bodies! Lots of them!

Fans: (inhale dramatically, then burst out laughing)

Verakka: (his eye twitches) I don't get paid enough to do this job.

Sesshomaru: How much do you get paid?

Verakka: That's beside the point. Bodies of Water for 500. And the question is:

_The Pacific __**Ocean**__ is what kind of water body?_

(buzz)

Verakka: Sesshomaru:

Sesshomaru: A puddle.

Verakka: No.

Sesshomaru: Well, that's how much c-- your mother spewed last night.

Verakka: Wh--how did--why--?!

Audience: (roaring with laughter)

Verakka: What the f--king hell?!

Sesshomaru: Payback's a bi--h, isn't it?

Verakka: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!!

Sesshomaru: New script, Vrael gave it to me during break.

Verakka: GOD -- -- -- -- IT TO -- -- F--KING -- -- HELL!!

Vrael: (chuckling)

Fans: (cheering)

Verakka: THE POINT IS THAT YOU'RE WRONG! WHO ELSE?!

(buzz)

Verakka: Wait, this came from someone in the audience! (looks at the crowd) Who obtained a buzzer?

(silence)

Verakka: My desk has a radar, you know, I can tell it came from out there.

(silence, a fan slowly raises her hand)

Verakka: Yes? How did you get it?

Fangirl 1: Vrael gave it to me in chapter 1.

Verakka: GOD DAMMIT!!

Audience: (laughing)

(buzz)

Verakka: (sighs and rubs his temples) Yes, Naraku?

Naraku: It's a sea!

Verakka: No.

(buzz)

Verakka: (walks over to Vrael and undoes the muzzel) Yes, Vrael?

Vrael: Bite me!

Verakka: I'll be sure to do that. (puts the muzzel back on) And now it is your board, Naraku.

Naraku: Umm...umm...umm...umm...umm...umm...umm...

Verakka: His train of thought is still boarding at the station, folks.

Fans: (laugh softly)

Naraku: Uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...

Verakka: How about the number 5?

Naraku: The number 5! (grins) I'm so smart!

Verakka: ...for 300?

Naraku: I want it for 300, Verakka!

Verakka: I'm going to get a refund from my therapist after this. Here's how this works. The answer to every question is five. When I stop talking, just say _5._ Okay? Let's give it a shot. The question is:

_How many fingers are on your left hand?_

Verakka: Go.

(silence)

Verakka: You have got to be kidding me.

(buzz)

Verakka: (walks to Vrael and undoes the muzzel) Yes?

Vrael: BITE--(Verakka redoes the muzzel and walks away as Vrael screams angrily, the sounds muffled by the muzzel)

(buzz)

Verakka: Audience member, could you please come up here?

Fangirl 1: (hesitantly stands and walks down to the stage)

Verakka: Do you plan on using the buzzer again?

Fangirl 1: Umm...ye--

Verakka: (large bat wings burst from his back) Come again?

Fangirl 1: (wimpers) Uh, maybe--

Verakka: (grabs the fangirl and flies up to the top of the stage. A large wooden pillar sticks down halfway towards the stage from the ceiling, and Verakka ties the fangirl upside-down to the pillar before flying down. The bat wings vanish and he sits down) Any other guesses?

(buzz)

Verakka: (growls) WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE GETTING THESE BUZZERS?!

Audience: (points at Vrael)

Verakka: GAH--!!

(buzz)

Verakka: (groans) Yes, Sesshomaru?

Sesshomaru: Five.

Verakka: Oh my god, you got it right!

Sesshomaru: Well--

Verakka: If you say one more thing about a script, I will swallow your soul.

Sesshomaru: (stays silent)

Verakka: Smart move. And we're down to Final Jeopardy. When we're not doing something related to last time's final jeopardy, you are each given a blue paper. On the top half you put down your answer, on the lower half you put how many gold coins you wager. And the question is:

_Do you like cats?_

(jeopardy music plays)

Verakka: Stay calm, there is no way you can get this wrong.

(beeping)

Verakka: Now let's see how bad you've gotten it wrong. Sesshomaru wrote:

--

--

--

Verakka: Umm...is that a picture of you killing a cat?

Sesshomaru: Sure is. Why?

Verakka: Never mind. Naraku wrote:

_Whut is a cAt?_

_--_

_Ur Mom_

Verakka: How the hell did you--never mind. And finally, Vrael.

_Not as much as I like Verakka_

_--_

Verakka: (double checks the paper, then looks up at Vrael) I-I'm shocked. Well, Vrael, let's see what you wagered.

_Not as much as I like Verakka_

_--_

_to be a spazzy idiot_

Audience: (screaming with laughter)

Verakka: ...we'll see you next time, fans. (the curtains close)

**This fanfiction is brought to you by the TorturingtheScreamingInuyasha club. Join real soon!**


	5. Ignoring Vrael Part 1

**I own nothing.**

* * *

(Verakka walks onto the stage and waves at the crowd)

Verakka: Wow, we're already on day 3 of Inuyasha Jeopardy. Can't say I didn't expect this. Well, thanks is in order for the people who have reviewed so far. So thank you:

shaneallix

Alternative Angel (who reviewed my earlier story, Inuyasha Truth or Dare LinkLord style)

Chrysolite Heart

Lady Hana the Kitsune (the first person to review my Truth or Dare fanfiction, and Sesshomaru's wife)

Verakka: Now on with the show! (the curtains close)

(the audience falls silent as the curtains pull apart again. The fangirl tries to wriggle free from the pole she's tied to as four people come onto the stage. Verakka sits in his chair as the three guests--Sesshomaru, Jinenji and Vrael--stand behind their podiums)

Verakka: Welcome back to Inuyasha Jeopardy. The fact that you are still watching makes me question your sanity, but since you are watching let us begin. Today we have Sesshomaru...

Sesshomaru: Hana's not here, is she?! (looks around nervously) That woman's been pestering me constantly!

Verakka: Since she is both your wife and in the audience, I would watch what you say about her.

_For more information, read Inuyasha Truth or Dare: LinkLord Style_

Verakka: ...Jinenji...

Jinenji: Hi, everyone. (waves shyly)

Verakka: ...and so let us begin.

Vrael: Wahuh--?!

Audience: (laughing uncontrollably)

Vrael: Why didn't you say my name?!

Verakka: And the categories are...

_Fatal Demonics_

_ITOD (Inuyasha Truth or Dare)_

_Extraterrestrial Trivia_

_Yes or No_

_Point to Your Nose_

_Say This Word_

Verakka: And, finally...

_Dance Dance Dance_

Verakka: Let's begin. Sesshomaru, we'll start with you.

Sesshomaru: Let's go with Fatal Demonics.

Verakka: Very well. For how much?

Sesshomaru: Umm, let me check the scri--

(boom)

(the room is covered in smoke and the audience coughs as the employees open the windows and doors to let out the smoke. When it clears, Verakka is standing on his desk, holding a bazooka which is aimed at Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru's podium is gone and the front part of his body is charred black)

Verakka: WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU PEOPLE AND SCRIPTS?! NO MORE! I'M DONE WITH THE SCRIPT! THE NEXT TIME YOU MENTION IT, YOU F--KING DIE!! GOT IT?!?!

Sesshomaru: (coughs and smoke comes out of his mouth) Now that was just rude.

Verakka: I HATE MY JOB!!!

Audience: (laug--)

Verakka: NO! (points at the audience) YOU WILL NOT LAUGH! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO LAUGH!!

Fangirl tied to the pole: That's what she said.

Verakka: GOD DAMMIT!

Audience: (cheers)

Verakka: Whatever! I'm making you do it for 1000 gold coins! Here's your freaking question:

_What is an ouija board placed on an upside-down pentagram?_

(silence)

Verakka: I gave you a hard one on purpose and you're going to answer it. Let's pick up the pa--

(buzz)

Verakka: (takes out his bazooka and aims it at the audience) ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN BUZZERS!!!

(buzz)

Verakka: (sits down, puts the bazooka away and rubs his temples) Fine. Yes, Jinenji?

Jinenji: Is it a Fatal Demonic?

Verakka: (gapes at him)

Fans: (silent)

Verakka: Oh my god...you don't have a script, do you?

Jinenji: A what?

Verakka: You know, a piece of paper with words on it?

Jinenji: Uh, no.

Verakka: Then Jinenji gets 1000 gold coins and picks the next category!

Vrael: Do you just hate me or something?

Verakka: Ya, pretty much.

Jinenji: Uhhh...Extrat'restrial Trivya?

Verakka: It is 'Extraterrestrial Trivia', but I guess that's just your accent. How much do you want it for?

Jinenji: Accent?

Verakka: That's six letters, this question is for 600 gold coins.

_What is a flying saucer called?_

Verakka: Since I just gave you the answer, this should be over in about...

(silence)

Verakka: ...

3 HOURS LATER...

Verakka: ...any minute now.

Fangirl tied to the pole: Shouldn't the bell have rung by now?

Verakka: You wanna go back in the box?

Fangirl tied to the pole: Uh-uh.

Verakka: Then shut it.

(buzz)

Verakka: Yes, What's-Your-Face?

Vrael: GO TO HELL!!

Verakka: I know you are, but what am I?

Vrael: It's a UFO!

Verakka: Ooooh, so close, it's a flying saucer. You lose 600 gold coins.

Vrael: I HATE YOU!!!

Verakka: The feeling is mutual, trust me.

Fangirl tied to the pole: All of the blood is rushing to my head, can I come down?

Verakka: Well, it's up to the audience.

Audience: No!

Fangirl tied to the pole: HEY!!

Verakka: You heard 'em. Alright Sesshomaru, it's your board.

Sesshomaru: Umm, I want to cut to a commercial.

Verakka: You heard 'im, folks! We'll be right back!

* * *

**From now on, in-between chapters there will be short commercials. Hope you like 'em!**

**This fanfiction is brought to you by the TorturingtheScreamingInuyasha club. Join real soon!**


	6. Commercial: The Super Electron Powered

**This commercial is brought to you by Geico, because nobody else gave a sh--.**

* * *

_**The Super Electron-Powered Double Action Turbo Lightsaber Thing**_

_Commercial 1_

Narrator: Hey you!

Person: Who, me?

Narrator: No, Jesus. OF COURSE YOU!!!

Person: Oh, okay.

Narrator: Are you bored of those old Star Wars lightsabers that don't even light up?

Person: No.

Director: (hands the person 50 dollars)

Person: Yeah!

Narrator: Sick of pushing the button and waiting for the blade to slide out?

Person: Uh-huh!

Narrator: Then you need THIS! (the screen switches to Inuyasha crouched on the ground, holding a plastic lightsaber handle)

Inuyasha: The Force is with me. (presses a button and five lightsaber blades of different colors spring out)

Narrator: That's right! It's the Super Electron-Powered Double Action Turbo Lightsaber Thing!

Person: (gasps) The Super Electron-Powered Double Action Turbo Lightsaber Thing?!

Narrator: THAT'S RIGHT! THE SUPER ELECTRON-POWERED DOUBLE ACTION TURBO LIGHTSABER THING!!

(Inuyasha and Sesshomaru face off in a dark room. Inuyasha holds the toy with a really long name and Sesshomaru wields a normal plastic lightsaber)

Sesshomaru: Inuyasha, I am your brother.

Inuyasha: NOOOO!!!

Sesshomaru: You must give in, or I shall be forced to use the full power of the Dark Side of the Force! (leaps forward with his lightsaber blade already out)

Inuyasha: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! (swings the Super Electron-Powered Double Action Turbo Lightsaber Thing. It hits Sesshomaru in the chest and knocks him backwards out of view) The Force is WITH ME!!! (holds the really long named thing in the air and the screen fades to black)

Person: ...it's dark in here.

* * *

**Again, this commercial is brought to you by Geico. Remember, turning off your TV or computer now could save you .0000000000000000000000000000005 percent of your life.**


End file.
